people often say
"i wouldn't be able to do it...take these babies into my home, not knowing the outcome."
"i would get too attached, it would be too upsetting"
"you must have something different in you, to be able to do this...i would just not want to let them go"
i understand why people say these things.
really,
i do.
but sometimes i'm left feeling a bit baffled by it all.
just because we are living out what we feel is right doesn't mean we have immunity to the hard and painful parts.
everything in me wants to take these babies and run and hide.
i know that many people don't understand how a baby that never grew in my tummy could hold the same place in my heart and life as any of my children but let me assure you that i feel no different towards any of my 6 kiddos.
these babies are not my ministry or my calling...
they are my babies.
i want to protect each of them
give them everything i can.
and when that is threatened, it seems more than i can bear at times.
the past 2 years have held some of the hardest moments in my life. like i'm talking harder than i could have imagined. the feelings, circumstances, anxiety, and fear that have come along side our decision to step into the world of adoption have been more than we could have ever prepared for. every situation is different, no adoption story the same.
i only speak from what we have experienced.
what we have seen and felt.
but i can confidently say that making the decisions we have over the past couple years,
to be open to whatever God has for our family
and to be open to whoever God has for our family
have brought a deeper sense of living then we have ever had before
a clearer perspective
a deeper gratefulness
a more honest view of the reality that so many live in.
"i wouldn't be able to do it...take these babies into my home, not knowing the outcome."
"i would get too attached, it would be too upsetting"
"you must have something different in you, to be able to do this...i would just not want to let them go"
i understand why people say these things.
really,
i do.
but sometimes i'm left feeling a bit baffled by it all.
just because we are living out what we feel is right doesn't mean we have immunity to the hard and painful parts.
everything in me wants to take these babies and run and hide.
i know that many people don't understand how a baby that never grew in my tummy could hold the same place in my heart and life as any of my children but let me assure you that i feel no different towards any of my 6 kiddos.
these babies are not my ministry or my calling...
they are my babies.
i want to protect each of them
give them everything i can.
and when that is threatened, it seems more than i can bear at times.
the past 2 years have held some of the hardest moments in my life. like i'm talking harder than i could have imagined. the feelings, circumstances, anxiety, and fear that have come along side our decision to step into the world of adoption have been more than we could have ever prepared for. every situation is different, no adoption story the same.
i only speak from what we have experienced.
what we have seen and felt.
but i can confidently say that making the decisions we have over the past couple years,
to be open to whatever God has for our family
and to be open to whoever God has for our family
have brought a deeper sense of living then we have ever had before
a clearer perspective
a deeper gratefulness
a more honest view of the reality that so many live in.
i wonder how many times in the past i have made a decision based on the thought that if it's
hard or painful
if it doesn't make sense
then surely it isn't right.
i wonder how much i've missed out on because of that thought.
i'm so glad i didn't miss out on these babies...
if it doesn't make sense
then surely it isn't right.
i wonder how much i've missed out on because of that thought.
i'm so glad i didn't miss out on these babies...
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